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Member since 09/2004

March 17, 2008

Help Me Help A Brother Chef...

I know this is probably lowdown and dirty, but to hell with it. What good is a contest if you can't jigger the damn thing...

My good friends Andrew and Aileen Trice, owners of Angel's BBQ in Savannah, Georgia, have entered the Travel Channel's Anthony Bourdain FAN-atics contest, wherein people upload videos explaining why Anthony Bourdain should do an episode of No Reservations with them.

Andrew Trice is the real deal. He's a classically, French trained chef in his own right, who returned to his roots to further the art and lore of smoking meat, pig in particular, to sublime perfection. He is one of the few fellow cooks I know who is truly genuine. No bombast, bells or whistles. What you see is what you get, and what you get is a breadth of knowledge and lore that is staggering.

He and his wife Aileen have taken a tiny carriage house in the shadow of one of Savannah's many beautiful churches and temples, and over the last few years nursed it into a local Mecca for lovers of good BBQ. When The Lady and I visit, we always stop in for a number of great meals elevated with stories, lore, gossip and shop talk.

So, here's what I want you to do, should you be so inclined... Check out this video, and, if you find it agreeable, register and rate it highly. Remember, BBQ is a beautiful thing, and those who labor honestly in the smoke and fire with the pig are truly blessed among cooks.

February 25, 2008

Happy Birthday, Laura!

I just want to send out a big ole Happy Birthday to a wonderful friend and colleague who has done so much for me over the years.

It's tough to come up a definition of what a friend is, but Laura is always there with bells and a healthy cynicism that compliments mine. She's a damn fine cook, all around good girl and mother and makes the best paprikash and dumplings around. She also is generous with her supply of tequila, which comes in very handy on occasion.

I know this will embarrass her greatly, but I don't care.

Happy Birthday, Laura, and may many, many more follow!

February 24, 2008

Politics?

Well, screw that shit.

I'm going to see if I can manage not to write a single word about politics from now until after election day, because, frankly, I don't have a dog in this race. There is not a single person left standing that deserves my vote, in either party.

I'll be voting. There's a slew of other things to vote for, but I'm withholding my vote for president until someone worthy of the position comes wandering around with a good argument.

And that's it on the politics for now. Let's see if I can resist...

UFOs Kidnapped Me...

How else to explain my absence from the aether?

A very long month of chaos, culminating in a mad dash to Savannah to cater Ray and Carleen's 50th wedding anniversary to the tune of 450 or so crab cakes. Jesus, was that crazy. That weekend was summed up by Diana's fiance Tommy stumbling into the kitchen of the American Legion Hall at Tybee Island, and saying, "Karl, you are one crazy f&%k!"

I could only reply, "Well, yeah, Tommy. Sorta sums up my weekend."

Needless to say, I need to blog. This is getting ridiculous. Especially considering that I'm the toast of Tybee Island for doing the best crab cakes anyone's ever had. This is becoming a running joke with me and mine. I make rockin' good crab cakes. Best anyone's ever had. Really. Lot's of drunk, little old ladies residing in Savannah and Tybee will testify to this. Best crab cakes evah...

And there you go. Not sure what happened. I woke up on a beach in Georgia with stars in my eyes and a soreness in my a... Ah. Well. I'll leave it at that for the moment.

More to follow, including the saga of Bubba and Miss Georgia Ann...

February 14, 2008

Happy Birthday To The Lady!

Well, it's Valentine's Day, and that's not a good thing. Or it is, depending on how you look at it.

In our household, Valentine's Day is something of a curse.

First off, I'm a chef, and Valentines is a sorry service to work. Busy as hell with frantic men taking out their women for a night on the town; something that approximates their somewhat skewed view of what romance consists of. So they take the girl out to dinner to a restaurant staffed with an incredibly stressed staff that would rather be fighting the Taliban than serving you food.

Think about that for a moment...

Second, this is The Lady's birthday, and we can't really go out to celebrate it, because of the above. And especially today. We've been on the road. That's right. The Lady, great sport that she is, has been on the road with me on her birthday to Savannah, Georgia. And it's not on vacation or anything like that. No, Chef Mojo had a major catering gig out on Tybee Island, and he needs The Lady to help him pick through 25 pounds or so of crab meat so he can do his job. 450 or so little crab cakes, along with shrimp, asparagus, stuffed tomatoes, tapenade and a cheese display for 150 well heeled Savannahians and Islanders. Jeez. I feel like I'm in the middle of a train wreck...

But all is not lost. Tomorrow, we'll take some time off and do it up right with a birthday dinner at Elizabeth on 37th, perhaps one of the best restaurants on the East Coast. We're going to take a taxi, eat like dukes and drink like kings and pretty much enjoy the hell out of ourselves.

So, thanks, sweetie. For everything. Love you lots.

January 09, 2008

The Real Ron Paul

This is Ron Paul. The real Ron Paul:

As I wrote previously, there's a big difference between a real libertarian who joins the movement due to a belief in the power of freedom and someone using libertarianism as a flag of convenience to add respectability to retrograde and repugnant views. Ron Paul's positions don't indicate that he's terribly interested in freedom so much as he's interested in keeping the Jews from stealing his gold.

His goldbuggery? He's trying to keep "international bankers" (wink, wink) from "manipulating" currencies to enrich themselves at the expense of normal, patriotic people. Normal, patriotic people who spin no dreidls and do not control the media. Savvy?

His foreign policy? He just wants to keep "the Jewish lobby" -- "the most powerful lobby in America," he says -- from getting the US to fight more wars on behalf of Israel.

Oh, and he wants to stop fighting in the Middle East and stop supporting foreign countries. Let me just postulate, based on Ron Paul's long record on such issues, that he's chiefly interested in ceasing animosity with Israel's enemies and most passionate about ending support of Israel. The other countries are just added for consistency. We can see what's animating this little anti-semitic cunt.

He's just "prone to nutty conspiracy theories," eh? Let me paraphrase Umberto Eco by saying There is no conspiracy theory on the planet that does not, at some point, involve the Jews.

This is rather obvious. I can count on one hand the conspiracy theories I've heard that didn't involve Jews, "international bankers," Mossad, or Golda Fucking Meir at the center of the web of manipulation.

Who the fuck did Reason think Ron Paul had in mind for the ultimate malefactors of the Vast International Banker Conspiracy? The Knights Fucking Templar?

At the heart of every conspiracy theory is irrational hatred and scapegoating, boys. Not "Love," not even the backwards kind of love in R3VO_|ution.

Was it really up to me to alert the brain trust at Reason of this fact? You guys didn't sort of figure that out on your own?

No wonder you were so blindsided. Committed conspiracy-nut suspects International Jewry might be up to some malfeasance. Surely no one could have seen that surprise twist coming. It's like the end of The Usual Suspects, except Keyser Sose turns out to be Rabbi Moishe Lefkowitz.

Reason can take its pose of being shocked, shocked to find anti-semitism in the heart of an anti-Israel, anti-AIPAC, anti-"international banker" conspiracy nutter and stick it straight up its wannabe-hipster ass.

Damn, Ace. Tell us what you really think!

This goes under "Read The Whole Thing." People like myself have been reading the signs put out by Ron Paul and his merry band of nutjobs. Ace pretty much sums up the events of the last 24 hours as far as the Paulbots are concerned, and finds them...lacking.

To be fair, several Reason writers express "disappointment" or the like in Paul, and Paul's typical non-response response. And a call for him to answer "questions" about the newsletters.

But most of it is just self-serving nonsense. Reason's folks are likely embarrassed, and I can't blame them for feeling so. They were taken in hook, line and sinker by an oddball hick secessionist and confirmed Jew-hater who brought precious exposure to their quixotic quest to legalize drugs. One can forgive them, perhaps, for the initial attempts to make excuses.

Not just for Ron Paul. But for themselves and their own poor judgment.

But one can forgive them for only so long. This absurd nonsense that Ron Paul didn't approve of his own newsletters, even as he concedes he wrote much of them (just not the embarrassingly racist or anti-semitic parts, mind you!), and thus should be held blameless is embarrassing and simple apologetics for a bitter, twisted old Jew-hatin' reject from the John Birch Society.

You want to keep "the movement" alive? Fine. But reject and renounce Ron Paul himself and stop making absurd claims about his innocence.

Or else continue standing with your venomous, anti-American, conspiracy-mongering Jew-hating twat of "leader." And be counted as one of his disciples, the same sort of disciples who made sure to read The Ron Paul Survival Report back in its dubious heyday, in order to be alerted as to when "the animals" might be moving in on them.

At some point credulity becomes complicity.

(emphasis mine)

Ron Paul's movement was corrupt from the start. Rotten to it's core. It's sadly amusing to see all his disoriented supporters either trying to justify him or run away.

January 07, 2008

Behold! Yet Another Sign Of The Impending Apocalypse!

Chelada, baby!

Chelada

That's right, kids. This is what it's come to. Budweiser, tomato juice and clams.

Really. Who the f*%k comes up with this stuff? I'm just trying to picture the guys at Anheuser-Busch around a table trying to come up with this.

"No, really, dude! Let's take Bud and mix it with Clamato! It's like, well, a Bloody Mary, only lighter or something!"

"Yeah, that's a good one! Maybe we can get people to use it like Red Bull and add their own vodka. Sorta like a this mellow beer and vodka bloody..."

"OH, OH, OH! Cool! And then we can put it in a tall can, with the most un-hip label we can come up with, which will make it so uber-hip that the straights will just cream at the thought of it!"

"Ok. So what do we call it?"

[silence]

[silence]

"Chelada."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. Chelada."

"What the f#^k?"

"No, wait. Wait. I'm seeing it... Enchelada without the 'En," right?"

"You got it, dude."

"But it's spelled 'enchilada.'"

"Never mind that, you anal-retentive twat, he's on a roll!"

[smiles all around]

"Run with it, guys! Make it work!"

I mean, can it get any worse than this?

(Via: Ace)

January 06, 2008

Just Because I Can...

A good friend just sent me this link...

Jesus Christ - The Musical!

Click the pic.

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

I just want to take a moment to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.

The Lady and I are up at Mom's and we're all just getting up. Coffee is brewing and Chris has got some cinnamon buns in the oven. In a bit, I'll start making Eggs Benedict for seven people. And mimosas. We start our libations early on Christmas.

Hope everyone has a good one!

December 22, 2007

This Made My Day...

Your Score : 78 credits
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December 04, 2007

Happy Chanukah, You Earth Defiling Candle Burners!

Via Ace comes this:

Jerusalem Post

‘Green Hanukkia' campaign sparks ire
By GIL HOFFMAN

In a campaign that has spread like wildfire across the Internet, a group of Israeli environmentalists is encouraging Jews around the world to light at least one less candle this Hanukka to help the environment.

The founders of the Green Hanukkia campaign found that every candle that burns completely produces 15 grams of carbon dioxide. If an estimated one million Israeli households light for eight days, they said, it would do significant damage to the atmosphere.

Just take this in for a minute; you've got to read the whole thing to get the full flavor of sublime dumbass. I found this as The Lady and I prepare to celebrate the first night of Chanukah with latkes and a menorah lighting. It's The Lady's cultural background; nothing really religious about it as she's not observant. Me? I was raised Episcopalian, but I make a mean latke. So, each year, we set up a menorah in the window and fry up some latkes. The Lady chants in Hebrew and lights the candles and we toast the occasion with some wine.

If this environmental assclown thinks we're going to do away with that tradition, which extends from traditions thousands of years old, he's got another thing coming.

In fact, just because these jerks exist, I intend to burn as many damn candles as I can get into candlesticks, menorahs and so forth. After the eight days are over, I'm keeping that thing burning all the way through New Year's Eve, just to make up for any idiots that actually partake in this bit of dumbassery.

(crossposted at Daily Pundit)

November 11, 2007

Iwo Jima, March 26, 1945

Prayer at the Fifth Marine Division Cemetery Iwo Jima by LT Roland Gittelsohn, CHC, USNR

This is perhaps the grimmest, and surely the holiest task we have faced since D-Day. Here before us lie the bodies of comrades and friends. Men who until yesterday or last week laughed with us, joked with us, trained with us. Men who were on the same ships with us, and went over the sides with us as we prepared to hit the beaches of this island. Men who fought with us and feared with us.

Somewhere in this plot of ground there may lie the man who could have discovered the cure for cancer. Under one of these Christian crosses, or beneath a Jewish Star of David, there may rest now a man who was destined to be a great prophet... to find the way, perhaps, for all to live in plenty, with poverty and hardship for none. Now they lie here silently in this sacred soil, and we gather to consecrate this earth in their memory. It is not easy to do so. Some of us have buried our closest friends here. We saw these men killed before our very eyes. Any one of us might have died in their places. Indeed, some of us are alive and breathing at this very moment only because men who lie here beneath us had the courage and strength to give their lives for ours. To speak in memory of such men as these is not easy. Of them, too, can it be said with utter truth: “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here. It can never forget what they did here.” No, our poor power of speech can add nothing to what these men and the other dead of our division who are not here have already done. All that we can even hope to do is follow their ex ample. To show the same selfless courage in peace that they did in war. To swear that, by the grace of God and the stubborn strength and power of human will, their sons and ours shall never suffer these pains again. These men have done their job well. They have paid the ghastly price of freedom. If that freedom be once again lost, as it was after the last war, the unforgivable blame will be ours, not theirs. So it is we, the living, who are here to be dedicated and consecrated.

We dedicate ourselves, first to live together in peace the way they fought and are buried here in war. Here lie men who loved America because their ancestors generations ago helps in her founding, and other men who loved here with equal passion because they themselves or their own fathers escaped from oppression to her blessed shores. Here lie officers and men, Negroes and whites, rich men and poor... together. Here are Protestants, Catholics, and Jews... together. Here no man prefers another because of his faith or despises him because of his color. Here there are no quotas of how many from each group are admitted or allowed. Among these men is no discrimination. No prejudice. No hatred. Theirs is the highest and purest democracy. Any man among us, the living, who fails to understand that will thereby betray those who lie here dead. Whoever of us lifts his hand in hate against a brother, or thinks himself superior to those who happen to be in the minority, makes of this ceremony and of the bloody sacrifice it com­memorates, an empty, hollow mockery. To this, then, as our solemn, sacred duty, do we the living now dedicate ourselves: to the right of Protestants, Catholics, and Jews, of white men and Negroes alike, to enjoy the democracy for which all of them have here paid the price.

To one thing more do we consecrate ourselves in memory of those who sleep beneath these crosses and stars. We shall not foolishly sup pose, as did the last generation of America’s fighting men, that victory on the battlefield will automatically guarantee the triumph of democracy at home. This war, with all its frightful heartache and suffering, is but the beginning of our generation’s struggle for democracy. When the last battle has been won, there will be those at home, as there were last time, who will want us to turn our backs in selfish isolation on the rest of organized humanity, and thus to sabotage the very peace for which we fight. We promise you who lie here: we will not do that! We will join hands with Britain, China, Russia in peace, even as we have in war to build the kind of world for which you died. When the last shot has been fired, there will still be those whose eyes are turned backward, not forward, who will be satisfied with those wide extremes of poverty and wealth in which the seeds of another war can breed. We promise you, our departed comrades: This too we will not permit. This war has been fought by the common man; its fruits of peace must be enjoyed by the common man! We promise, by all that is sacred and holy, that your sons–the sons of miners and millers, the sons of farmers and workers, will inherit from your death the right to a living that is decent and secure.

When the final cross has been placed in the last cemetery, once again there will be those to whom profit is more important than peace, who will insist with the voice of sweet reasonableness and appeasement that it is better to trade with the enemies of mankind than, by crushing them, to lose their profit. To you who sleep here silently, we give our promise: We will not listen! We will not forget that some of you were burnt with oil that came from American wells, that many of you were killed by shells fashioned from American steel. We promise that when once again men seek profit at your expense, we shall remember how you looked when we placed you reverently, lovingly, in the ground. Thus do we memorialize those who, having ceased living with us, now live within us. Thus do we consecrate ourselves, the living, to carry on the struggle they began. Too much blood has gone into this soil for us to let it lie barren. Too much pain and heartache have fertilized the earth on which we stand. We here solemnly swear: this shall not be in vain! Out of this, and from the suffering and sorrow of those who mourn this, will come we promise the birth of a new freedom for the sons of men everywhere.

Amen.

Take a moment to remember and to honor those whose bones rest marked and unmarked in the cause of
freedom.

Postscript: The story behind the story is breathtaking in it's scope and it's impact. Read it all, as they say...

November 07, 2007

Foolish Notions

Via SteveF at Daily Pundit comes this:

The intersection of modern chemistry and the culinary arts: Chefs are now using hydrocolloid gums in creating new dishes:

creations like fried mayonnaise and a foie gras that can be tied into a knot.

While I applaud their inventiveness, I don’t like mayonnaise. Frying it is unlikely to make me a convert.

I have issues with this, albeit complicated. I replied to to this post thusly:

(...)

Boy, talk about waving a red flag in front of me. This is a rather sore and delicate issue with me. I much preferred the days when the science of cooking remained in the background. So much of what is mentioned in the linked article seems gratuitous; chefs screwing around simply for the sake of it and for manufacturing drinking stories. The plates pictured in the article are the expression of silliness bought on by a hubris smitten fool. I’ll take cockiness in a cook - in fact, I value it - but this sort of showboating makes a mockery of what I do.

It’s not the cholesterol aspect of fried mayonnaise that I object to, but the preposterousness of the application of a classical sauce in such an imbecilic fashion. It accomplishes nothing and does not further the art of cooking in any way whatsoever.

Although I admit a great deal of admiration for Ferran Adria and his little squadron of mad monks holed up six months out of the year in some heap of an old building in Barcelona, I think the chefs who have latched on to what they believe he’s doing have gone pretty much off the cliff. It’s as if everybody at that art school in the back of the comic books - you know the one; draw the pirate…- has decided that they can emulate Picasso by “creating” what they think to be “abstract” art.

The whole thing has become an exercise in frivolous vanity; the culinary answer to Piss Christ. The idea seems more to shock and amaze with absurd novelty than it is to practice one’s craft honestly and with dedication.

I mean, really. Foie gras you can tie up in a knot? To what end? What’s the meaning? I can understand Adria creating a green blob on a silver spoon that sensually recreates the taste and texture of a fresh sweet pea ravioli, but not industrialized foie. I’ve used Adria’s rosemary device on a number of occasions to great effect in order to demonstrate olfactory aspect of taste. But sheets of meat juice? That’s what labs use for incubating cultures. Whatever.

The art and craft of cooking is endlessly fascinating, but can be incredibly tedious when chefs get silly. As interesting as I find Adria, give me a Batali, with his short ribs, or a Bourdain with his steak frites, any day of the week. Chefs like Thomas Keller or Masaharu Morimoto will be remembered long after these narcissistic children have crashed and burned, leaving a trail of atomized chemicals stinking in their wake.

Nothing beats honest, real food lovingly prepared by those who dedicate themselves to their craft. And I know that on my worst day, I can far out-cook these shoemakers.

(...)

October 02, 2007

Poking A Lion With A Stick...

I’ve spent the better part of a week trying to come to grips with how I was going to write about Bob Dylan.  Dylan is a difficult subject at the best of times, and far better writers than me have  expended countless words attempting to wrap themselves around some aspect of Dylan, only to see it slip away into meaningless twaddle.

Well, here goes nothing.

The Lady and I went to see the man himself last Thursday at the John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville. Billed as the Bob Dylan Show, Bob was preceded by a superb set from Amos Lee and a phenomenal set from Elvis Costello. Talk about warming up the crowd! We were all pretty stoked by the time the lights went down for Bob’s set.

I guess that was part of the problem. With two outstanding performances behind us, we were carrying high expectations that were disturbingly not met on so many levels.

Let be start out by saying that the Never Ending Tour is a well oiled machine that has become a little too slick and greasy for its own good. There’s an obvious carny thing going on here, from the hawking of merchandise to the intro music when Bob takes to the stage; whirling carnival music with a barker making the introduction over the PA system. Bob and the band pick up their instruments and begin to perform.

People have a soft spot for carnivals in their collective memory; usually associated with childhood. Being children, they don’t really see the darker side of it all, blinded as they are by the lights, clowns and cotton candy. As you get older, you begin to realize that no matter how much the barker works up the sideshow tent, you always feel a bit let down when you get in. Usually, it’s just not what it was cranked up to be. A degree of acceptance follows you out of the tent; when they ask, you tell your friends how cool it was. Who wants to come across as a rube? Besides, it’s the carnival and you don’t want to be a bummer about it. The carnival is counting on this attitude.

I really want to be enthusiastic about seeing Dylan. I’ve seen him so many times in the past, and I’ve enjoyed myself immensely most of the time. Oh, sure, he would have the occasional off night where things just didn’t come together, but you always sort of brushed that off and waited for the next show to come around.

But now I’m wondering if Dylan shouldn’t give it a rest.

His band is amazing. They always are; Dylan is Dylan, after all, and he can pick from the cream of the crop as far as musicians are concerned. When they tore into the first song, with Bob on electric guitar, you couldn’t help but be carried away; they were roaring into it, as tight as a band could be. It was encouraging to see Bob on guitar; one of the complaints I’ve heard of late is that he’s become a keyboardist (and he did switch to keyboards after the 3 song.). Which, quite frankly, is not how people see Dylan, or why they come to see him in the first place. I’ve come to accept it of late, so I was quite happy to see him pick up a guitar and tear into, well, something. Whatever it was, it was rocking out.

And then Bob started singing.

I once had a friend who told be that Dylan never sang a song the same way twice, because he didn’t want people singing along while he performed. It sure seems reasonable to me. Bob is nothing if not eclectic in performance, constantly reworking songs, music and his style and approach to them. People who count themselves as fans of Bob Dylan take the time to learn the songs and the lyrics, and I usually have no problem following him through a song.

This time, he was midway through the second verse before I realized that he was groaning out Leopard-Skin Pillbox Hat, on of the more distinctive and recognizable songs in Dylan’s repertoire. And groaning he was. Or something. You really couldn’t call it singing. Making out individual words was nigh on impossible; his voice was a staccato monotone spitting out syllables like gravel against a sheet of galvanized steel.

His voice sounded completely shot. I don’t know whether it’s age catching up with him or what, but any trace of sweetness or nuance in that voice is long gone.

Don’t get me wrong; he can work this voice into certain songs with great effect. Bob snarled his way through a version of A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall that was brutally potent, slamming you in the gut with the punch of a glass of moonshine. But it’s not a voice suited for a song like Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright.

That’s the frustration of it all. Dylan is a mythical beast, and you screw with those at your own peril. Throughout the set, there were flashes of brilliance, where his voice happened to fit the material. The whole arena exploded as he went into Highway 61 Revisited, barking and blasting his way through that amazing piece of apocalyptic genius. Other times, the arena just sat there, this big question mark in a balloon hovering over us; a feeling of disorientation that seemed to fall over the crowd. Highway 61 was the ninth song in the set, and was followed up with Spirit On The Water. By this point a trickle of people were leaving. Midway through Stuck Inside of Mobile, With the Memphis Blues Again, the trickle became a rupture, as people began leaving in droves.

The next day, so people we know told us they left early; one couple had an early plane to catch. Another couple was tired from a long day. But it’s Dylan. A living legend performing. This is something that should energize you and make you want to stay until the arena people kick your ass out onto the curb. We’ve all been to shows like that, where you wouldn’t dream of leaving early, no matter what. People were blowing off Dylan left and right. You could feel something; not so much disappointment but something more subtle than that. Perhaps regret. Not regret for having come to see Dylan, but a regret of memory of a time when Dylan meant something else to you.

Bob Dylan has had an enormous impact on our culture of an order of magnitude that will keep musical historians busy for years to come. He is always larger than life, even when you’re sitting in the nosebleed seats of a huge stadium; his aura would always reach up there to you. He obviously still has the energy of a man half his age, and can still rock with the best of them, oft times surpassing anyone out there.

I fear, however, that he’s being subsumed by that carnival he runs, his voice ground down to an eventual hoarse whisper as he begins to fade into the dusk. I don’t want Bob Dylan to become a sideshow attraction that people walk by, while exclaiming in hushed voices, “Remember when?”

(crossposted at Daily Pundit)

September 26, 2007

It's A Conspiracy!

Via NRO comes this neat little compilation of popular and obscure conspiracy theories:

The World's Weirdest/Stupidest Conspiracy Theories

(in no particular order, with each theory's author or main proponent in parentheses)

- The driver shot JFK. (the late William Cooper)
- The Beatles were designed and sent to the U.S. by the British Psychological Warfare Division, to undermine the morals of American teenagers. (Lyndon LaRouche)
- Christ's Crucifixion was staged. (Hugh Schonfield) Christ eloped with Mary Magdalene, and one or both of them fled to France to raise their family. (Baigent/Leigh/Lincoln)
- Christ and his disciples were a magic-mushroom cult. (Dead Sea Scrolls scholar John Allegro)
- HIV/AIDS was created in a lab.
- HIV does not cause AIDS.
- Man never landed on the moon. It's not even possible. But there is an alien base there. (see Wikipedia; for an artful and very funny parody of how these theories can be patched together from unrelated material, watch the mockumentary Dark Side of the Moon)
- The Zapruder film is entirely fake, even though it contradicts the findings of the Warren Commission. (Jim Fetzer)
- Stephen King killed John Lennon. (Steve Lightfoot)
- WWII was staged. It never really happened. The Illuminati employed elaborate special effects, stage magic, and phony journalism to scare the world into pacifism. (Donald Holmes)
- Queen Elizabeth I was a man. The real Elizabeth died as a child.

And the list goes on...

But the real fun is watching the commentors bring teh crazy. It's like dumping chum in the water.

I love the smell of Troofer in the morning...

(crossposted at Daily Pundit)