Chef Mojo

"There's only one return..."

It's coming and I'm very psyched. Here's a trailer and here's hoping Kevin Smith done got his groove back.

(tip 'o' the hat: Uncrate)

A Night At The Movies

The In-Laws were in town today, with the addition of The Lady's brother, Arie. He'd flown in from the left coast to surprise his mother on her birthday and they all came to C'ville for the day. We had a great day up on the Mountain, with The Lady doing a great tour for us, including a trip to the Dome Room. I always enjoy going up there.

After coming off the Mountain, we got the In-Laws checked into their hotel before heading to Fleurie for a superb dinner. More on that in another post...

After dinner, we dropped the 'rents off the hotel. The Lady, Arie and I went to see the 9:40 showing of Star Wars III: Obi-Wan Rides A Huge, Unbelievable CGI Iguana.

We were underwhelmed.

It was better than the first two. I'll give it that, but that's not saying much. I thought first two were abysmal. The third one was slightly better, if only because Yoda kicked butt there for awhile, until Lucas screwed up that scene, too.

The acting was shameful. Totally absurd, insipid dialogue. Only Ian McDiarmid showed a lick of talent and managed to steal every scene he was in. He was freaking Olivier by comparison to the rest of the cast. It's a bad sign in a movie when the computer geeks turn out a better actor with Yoda than the director does with his entire cast.

But the computer geeks should not be let off the hook. This movie really proved that there is such a thing as WAY too much special effects. There are so many special effects in any given scene, that the whole effect gets lost in a blur. There's too damn much going on. It's impossible to take it in. Initially, it all looks awesome and then it just goes nuts! Even the Great Climactic Battle turns into a complete letdown. In the old SW flicks, there was a sense of grace in the fight choreography that is completely lacking in these new ones. The light saber fights become disco strobe light shows. The light sabers become two dimensional, with no definition. In ANH, you actually believe in the light sabers. In ROTS, they just become another busy, overused piece of CGI. Frankly, they hurt my eyes.

Stuff I liked included the betrayal of the individual Jedi knights. That was a fairly well executed montage. Yoda and Palpatine deuling in the Senate chamber, at least until Palpatine decides he'd rather play cosmic Frisbee. Then it sucked. Obi-Wan's merciless butchery of Vader at the end of the Great Climactic Battle, until I realised that Obi-Wan could easily finish the job with a simple coupe de grace, but he can't, because that wouldn't make sense, now would it?

The other two hours were a mind-numbingly horrible waste of good talent and money. Dooku? Christopher Lee looked relieved to lose his head and finally get out of this picture. Who thought up that name, for crying out loud? General Greivous (speaking of names...)? Lame, and with smoker's hack to boot. A stupid, giant, and really speedy iguana? What the hell was that all about? Cinnabon hair on Padme? Sorry, I'm not buying it.

I went into ROTS expecting to be disappointed. George Lucas fufilled my expectations, and then some.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

I'm probably going to go see Revenge of the Sith in the theater. I know I'll be dissapointed. The last two were so incredibly bad that I don't see how anybody ever thought George Lucas could direct a movie. For Jar Jar alone, someone should have had the fortitude to say, "George, step away from the camera. Slowly. No sudden moves..."

But I'll go see ROTS anyway. Craptacular though it will be. Yeah, I know the CGI will kick ass, but sitting through another scene of Hayden and Natalie "emoting" will really make the gag reflex kick in big time. Plus, the scene I really want to see won't be in it. You know, the one when someone finally shoves a thermite grenade up Jar Jar's wazzoo and yells, "Fire in the hole!" Not gonna happen. Oh, well.

UPDATE:

JCoke over at Daily Pundit does a great job saying what I'm trying to say. Check it out. It's a wonderful summary as to why George Lucas screwed it all up big time and why Neal Stephenson didn't. Of course, JCoke does not go into why Jar Jar should die a ghastly death, but I digress...

AMERICA! F%#k, yeah!

The Lady and I had a mad, freaky time last night; movie and a dinner after a week of strange craziness and gloomy weather.

We finally got around to seeing Team America: World Police, and boy, was the Denevan right! To put it mildly, it rocked our freakin' socks off and seriously banished my blues. 12 hours later, I'm STILL laughing about it! I mean, where else can you see Michael Moore set himself off with a suicide bomb AND Kim Jong Il's Hummel collection? I don't really know where to begin with this movie, so I won't even bother. I'll just say that it truly lives up to it's hype. If watching the Holywood "A" list getting blown away in a North Korean fortress or seeing a couple of puppets gettin' nasty is your idea of a great night out, then this is THE movie for you.

Remember, it's not about sex, it's about trust.

And after that, where else to go but Mas for late night tapas and wine! Mas was cranked up for friday night. Parking was a bit tedious, but we walked in, and low and behold, our usual spot at the bar was free! Bonus.

The Lady cannot resist that yummy blood orange Cosmo! I started with my usual glass of Fino. Chef Tomas was his usual chill self. It doesn't matter how busy it is; he'll still find time to talk to us. But tonight, he had to keep the conversation to a minimum. We ordered everything we wanted in one shot: Serrano Ham and Manchego, Patatas Bravas, Merguez, their awesome wood oven baked bread and olive oil, and some big ole garlic marinated grilled shrimp served with aoli. We had a glass of Allende Rioja, '00 to wash all that down. The Allende was fantastic! We had the Muga last time, and while that was pretty spectacular, the Allende had the edge with some luscious fruit, smooth (but assertive!) tannin and a finish that comfortably held it's own against the garlic. Tomas handed each dish over to us in a very timely fashion as the Lady and I kept riffing on the movie, punctuating the conversation with numerous, "F#%k, yeah!" outbursts.

It was pretty late (for us, that is...) when we got back to S'ville, but we were still laughing.

Give It Enough Time...

Back when Star Wars came out in 1977, I was 17 and was sort of left out of the merchandising demographic. Oh, sure, I could have a poster of the movie and stuff like that. But I was too old for the cool stuff; all the toys!

Besides, I couldn't have what I really wanted; a lightsaber. They eventually released these terrible little flashlight thingies that you extended with a flip of the wrist. Pretty lame, and for a much younger crowd. I wanted something as close to the real thing as possible, but alas, it was not to be.

Until now. In a supreme validation of the saying that "good things come to those who wait," I now have a lightsaber.

This is a Mace Windu model Force FX Lightsaber from Master Replicas. And, boy, is it fun. This is what I wanted in back in '77; an honest-to-God glowing, humming, zapping lightsaber.

I chose the Mace Windu model for a number of reasons. I like the esthetics of this one. It's sort of an Art Deco lightsaber, with a lot of polished chrome and brass. With it's softer lines, it's pretty pleasing to the eye. It has an intensely glowing purple blade, that I also find attractive. But probably the big reason for me to choose this lightsaber is that Mace Windu is played by Samuel L. Jackson, who, no matter who he plays, comes across a bad motherf#&%@er.

The construction of this thing is pretty amazing. It is not a toy. Well, it is, but you know what I mean. Its a Collectible! Yeah! That's what I mean! Anyway, the hilt is made of metal trimmed with plastic/rubber, and it's heavy. Feels real good in the hand. The blade is a polycarbonate rod loaded with LEDs and electronics. Did I mention that it hums? Oh yes indeed. This beast comes with sound effects.

All in all, I would have to say this is the best movie toy...er...collectible I've come across. It looks great and actually does something other than sit on a table.