Chef Mojo

O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick.

A little Shakespeare to drive home the irony of this new regimen of chemotherapy I started today. 

I'm already feeling how this is going to blow up in me in a few days. Sort of like a movie trailer from Hell, letting you in on the real clever bits, and leaving you sitting there in morbid anticipation of the punchline. 

I'm not in much of a writing mood at the moment, but I will catch you up later on the nightmare of a day spent attempting to get dangerous and severely toxic chemicals pumped into my veins.

Willingly.

That's the crazy part. I'm willingly submitting to all this. And chances are I'll keep having to submit to this, given the nature of the cancer.

What's that definition of insanity?

Well, let's not go there. I'll just leave you with a little more Shakespeare:

Well, 'tis no matter, honor pricks me on.

Yea, but how if honor prick me off when I come on? how then?

How then, indeed...

"I'm PAYING for this microphone!"

Well, I am. 

So, I've got a lot of time on my hands, now. I had a bunch of time last year, but I was pretty much in a state of constant pain, so there was that. 

Plus, I'm curious as to if anyone will noticed that I've fired this blog back up. I doubt it, but we'll see. 

Long story short: Cancer, baby! Starting in March of 2012, I recieved a diagnosis for a rather complicated form of cancer. You can follow the story thus far at CaringBridge. Just register and read. It's a real jawdropper in places. 

Let's see where this goes. I'll try to get up to speed again. I really need to keep the fingers limber, after all. 

The story behind this picture can be found at CaringBridge. 

I'm still cheating that pisser bastard Davy Jones, I am.

$9.8 Trillion: A Perspective

As regards the unimaginable debt that the US is about to pile up, I found a comment in this post that sort of puts 9.8 trillion dollars into perspective:

There are 3600 seconds in an hour, 86,400 seconds in a 24-hour day, and 31,536,000 seconds in a 365-day year. 

 In the last 2000 years of human history, only 63,072,000,000 (63 billion) seconds have passed. 

For 9.8 trillion seconds to pass, it would take 310,756 years. 9.8 trillion days would take 26,849,315,068 years. 

The earth and the sun are estimated to be only about 4.5 billion years old. 

And the entire universe is estimated to be about 13 billion years since the Big Bang. 

 So 9.8 trillion days is twice as long as the beginning of time.

I Guess I'm Back...

The good news is that I'm back from my fishing trip. Didn't catch a damn thing, but that wasn't really the point.

The bad news is... After watching the SOTU, I'm inclined to believe we are well and truly fucked.

Which is kinda how I felt when I left for the fishing trip, so there's that, anyway.

Gone Fishin'

In case you haven't noticed, I'm not posting these days. I've decided to give it a rest for awhile, because, quite frankly, the news just sort of speaks for itself.

Garrison Keillor Is An Ass

From the Chicago Tribune

A day to remember
Garrison Keillor
January 21, 2009
One simply wanted to be present. Freezing cold or not, a crowd of 2 million, whatever—solemn warnings about tight security, long lines, traffic jams, cell phones not working. In the end, one wanted to be there on the Mall before the Capitol on Tuesday at noon amid the jubilant throng and see the man take the oath of office—our first genuine author-president.

(Emphasis mine)

Hold on there, cowboy. Not by a long shot.

Hey moron, let's try Thomas Jefferson, to begin with. 1782. Notes On The State Of Virginia, one of the great observational histories written up to that time. Sounds like an author to me.

Or, how about Theodore Roosevelt? He managed to publish The Naval War of 1812 upon his graduation from Harvard in 1880. Of course, Harvard wasn't dumbed down then like it is now. He wrote it as an undergrad. It's still the definitive book on the subject. Yeah. He was an author.

Woodrow Wilson. Congressional Government and Constitutional Government. And numerous other books. Yep. You guessed it. Author.

Kennedy's Profiles In Courage doesn't count. He didn't write it.

Those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head. 

Garrison Keillor is a bloviating fool, skating on the ever thinning ice of past, questionable talent. He wouldn't know real authorship if it crawled up his ass sideways.

I mean, really. Obama's pieces of masturbatory fluff are going to stand up to serious histories and analytics from people far more talented and intelligent than he could ever dream of being?

(Via Ace)

Classy

Hey, I just want to take a moment to send a shout out to the asshat schmuck that knocked the driver's side mirror off The Lady's ride this morning.

This is the third time this has happened to us in the last  five years, and it's getting old.

So whoever did this? Karma's a bitch...

UPDATE:

Well, I take it all back. It turns out that when The Lady got in the car, she spotted a note down low under the windshield wiper, with name, number and offer to pay for the damage. Given the make of the car, it was not possible to see the note from the outside.

I gotta say, this really makes me feel less pessimistic about humanity in general.

Accidents will happen, and an accident is just an accident. Owning up to it like this is a good thing and a sign of good character. The title of this post was meant to be snarky, of course. But now, we can go with the literal meaning.

To the person who did this, thanks for doing the classy thing.

It Puts The Lotion In The Basket...

Yeah. That's the kind of day I'm having.

I'm Proud Of Myself, Dammit.

I managed to go a whole 36 hours without once posting on what a lying, cheating, rat bastard, shit-heel sonofabitch John Edwards is.

See? I knew I could do Chef Mojo without injecting politics into the equation!

Huzzah!

Dining Tip For The Ladies

And this goes for some of you gentleman, as well.

When you are seated at your table, and the waiter hands you a menu and takes your drink order, instead of breaking into non-stop conversation for the next half hour and giving resentful looks at the waiter as she tries to take your order time after time, try this.

Be quiet, sip your iced tea, read the menu, make your selection and order your damn meal.

Then start talking.

See? Everybody wins. Waiter gets the order and gives it to the kitchen. Kitchen does the meal, sends it out to the table. People at the table are babbling merrily away as the meal is placed before them. Everyone is happy.

Try it sometime.